Have To Be More Careful

Usually, when I wake up on Sunday morning, it’s to the smell of a roast dinner wafting up the stairs and with a rested smile on my face. This Sunday morning I woke up feeling very, very uneasy. I could feel my heartbeat in all my extremities and honestly thought I was about to have a heart attack; it didn’t matter which side I lay on or how much cover was on me, I kept shaking and my heart rate would not slow which was weird considering I had just come out of a very deep, long sleep. Right on cue, my father demanded I stop being so lazy and finally clean my room, a task I’d been avoiding for a few days simply because without a little clutter the box room I’m staying in, while on break from university, looks very empty. After taking a few minutes of shouting I gave in and, once he had left the room, I tried to sit up. Big mistake. Immediately the uneasy feeling morphed into that pre-pass out feeling where vomit starts rising in your throat and pulsating spots appear in your vision. While stumbling to the bathroom, I wondered why this was happening now, I mean my caloric intake has been low for a week now but surely it’s too early for my body to start failing? Then I realised it’s probably my fault, all I had to eat yesterday was half a salad on a day spent walking around shopping and exercising. Waking up at one in the afternoon was probably the final straw, it means I only ate about 200 calories over the space of two and a half days. Oops. Anyway, after passing out in the bathroom for a short while, I dragged myself back to my bedroom, sipped some water and necked the only food I could find: a small Graze box of corn snacks. Thank god I’d flung them into the basket just as we reached the checkout yesterday. It’s been about one hour since all that and in that time I’ve cleaned my room and got dressed, both hard tasks for one because of the whole pass out thing but also because some mean shadowy hallucinations have been berating me for eating 125 calories right before lunch. If this is what the next two months are gonna be like maybe I need to rethink my strategy.

Watch this space.

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